GIBen Blog

Defending Mario – Why Mario’s Story is Better Than You Thought

Ben Reeves — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 23:26:00 GMT

The original Super Mario Bros. didn’t go out of its way to tell a compelling narrative. Even so, as a kid, I knew a few things about the game. I knew Mario was lost in some kind of weird pipe world. I knew he had to fight his way through an army of shiitake mushrooms and flying turtles lead by King Koopa. And I knew that the evil dinosaur had my princess. Even as a kid, I knew Mario’s story was terrible on the surface.

What I didn’t know was how good Mario’s story was once you took a deeper look.

I argue that the story of Super Mario Bros. is good because it encapsulates a very powerful theme that resonates with every human on the planet.

Those familiar with the works of the mythologist Joseph Campbell may know where I’m going with this. Throughout history, our fictional heroes have had many faces (Hercules, Lancelot, Zorro, Spider-Man, Master Chief). And even though their stories may be different, the same themes can be found threaded through them all. There is a reason Homer’s Odyseey, Tolken’s Lord of the Rings, and Lucas’s Star Wars all hit some of the same notes regarding good, evil, love, hope, and sacrifice. Those stories hold meaning to us. They tell us what we think is important.

With the classic hero’s journey so well established in our fiction, it doesn’t take much to conjure up an emotional response.

By the time we are old enough to swing an invisible sword in our backyard we understand the need for a hero. I can’t tell you how many of my backyard childhood adventures involved rescuing a princess. Or a Mary Jane Watson. Or a Daphne Blake. Or an April O’Neil. (Maybe I just had a thing for redheads.) The point is, Mario’s story was nothing new. I knew a hero was supposed to rescue the princess. No one had to explain it to me. I didn’t need a story to tell me why I should save Princess Toadstool (excuse me, Peach). I just needed to live through that adventure. I needed to have the experience for myself.

The strength of Mario’s story was that we got to live out that hero’s journey ourselves.

The funny thing is, how much does an eight-year-old really understand about the complexities of right and wrong? Of the cost of victory? Of true sacrifice? Yet, without understanding the meat of these fables, we still grasp their importance. The classical trope of a hero on a journey to rescue a princess resonates very strongly within us all. We all want to be a hero the second we are old enough to understand humans are capable of anything.

We don’t need Mario’s narrative to be any stronger, because the thin premise we’re given is already so rich with meaning. Which begs the question, “why do these story’s resonate so deeply within us?” I’ll let you wrestle with that question on your own, but I will say that there must be a reason they do.

On Heavy Rain and Believability in Games

Ben Reeves — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:12:00 GMT

I came into work this week, and all everyone seems to be talking about is Heavy Rain. I think this means it’s safe to start talking about the game’s story (even so I’ll try to keep this spoiler-free).

Heavy Rain is a great game, as you can see for yourself in our review. In fact, the game’s overall reception has been fairly positive. However, in order to put some perspective on the title, I thought I’d talk a little bit about an area of the game I found lacking.

Let me also say this (again). Overall I liked Heavy Rain’s story.

Now to the point. My main problem with the game’s narrative has to do with believability. I’ve often felt that believability is one of the most important aspects of creating an engaging tale. This doesn’t mean a story has to be realistic. Certainly there are many aspects of Lord of the Rings that are very unbelievable, but once you get dropped into Tolkein’s fictionalized world there is so much color to his universe that it’s hard not to get lost in the moment and – at least for a time – feel like you are somewhere else.

Lord of the Rings is a good story.

This power to transport is what makes any story compelling. It’s what makes horror movies scary. It’s what make’s comedies funny. It’s why we cried during Rudy and Forrest Gump (just admit it).

But a story has no power over your emotions if you don’t buy into the action that is taking place.

The key to pulling off this trick is making sure your characters – not your situations – are authentic. It doesn’t matter how ridiculous the world is as long as we can connect with the characters and understand why they’re doing what they’re doing.

Let’s look at a game that does have a story I consider to be engaging: God of War.

God of War’s world is about as unbelievable as you can get. It’s filled with mythical flying beasts, giant creatures whose forms blend with the environment, and the main character, Kratos, performs one ridiculous feat after another. But none of that matters because we’ve bought into the game’s tale of revenge.

In God of War we know that Kratos seeks revenge against Ares, the god of war, for years of personal enslavement and the god’s involvement in the death of Kratos’ family. We all understand Kratos’ motives, because revenge resonates inside us all. We all know what it’s like to hate someone. We all know what it’s like to want to seek revenge against someone (even if it is on a much pettier scale). We all have people we love, and we all know how we’d feel if they we’re murdered. That kind of hatred is in our DNA.

So when Kratos hunts down Ares and kills him we understand why.

In God of War, Kratos eventually has his revenge, but what if things had played out differently? What if at the end of the game, as Kratos was approaching Ares, Ares said, “Kratos don’t you get it? Remember how often you spoke of how your family drove you crazy. Remember how you said, ‘Sometimes I just want to strangle them?’ Well, I just fulfilled that wish. Don’t you get it? It was all a big joke.”

And then what if Kratos started laughing. “Hahaha, oh boy, I see what you did there, Ares. You really got me good that time. Let’s go share some ale.”

We’d go, “huh?” We’d think that was a ridiculous way to end the game. We’d think that the writers of God of War had all hopped on the crazy train. That kind of story betrays everything we know about human nature. Our heroes are supposed to fight injustice, not let it slide. Characters have the freedom to react to situations in many ways, but if they betray common sense it upsets us. Kratos could have forgiven Ares, and that could have been a good story, but that’s a much more challenging story to write.

There are basic rules by which all characters operate in fiction. This is ultimately the problem I had with Heavy Rain’s story. In many situations I found the characters acting in ways that seemed to betray their sensibilities, morals, or intelligence. This isn’t always bad, but I saw it happen enough that these situations began to pull me out of the moment, and the game lost some of its gravitas. In short, I think Heavy Rain lacked a certain amount of verisimilitude. For a game so focused on putting you in the role of another person this was a problem for me.

It’s hard to reference specific moments without giving away spoilers. So I won’t, but I will leave this open to discussion.

Anyone out there have a similar experience?

Anyone out there feel like disagreeing with me?

Why I Think You Should Shut Up

Ben Reeves — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:28:00 GMT

I was at the game store the other day and witnessed something that disturbed me. Two men were looking at used Wii games, and one of them picked up a copy of Ghostbusters to show his friend.

“Have you played this one, yet?”

That wasn’t the disturbing part. It was what happened next that bugged me.

Before his friend could even respond a stranger who had been hovering behind them decided to get involved. I don’t know his name so we’ll just call him stained shirt boy.

“Don’t get that!” said stained shirt boy.

The other two men sort of startledly looked at him.

“It sucks,” continued stained shirt boy.

“I don’t know, I thought it was okay,” said the first guy who had clearly been about to suggest that his friend buy the game.

“No,” said stained shirt boy dismissively. “It sucked.”

The two gentlemen turned away, but I don’t think SSB was very good at reading body language, and he continued offering unsolicited advice.

“The graphics suck, and the shooting is –” Momentarily flustered, as the million reasons why Ghostbusters sucked flooded his head, SSB went back to his thesis, “it just sucks, I wouldn’t buy it.”

“Uh, thanks,” said guy number two who had put the Ghostbusters case back on the shelf hoping that this would pacify SSB.

I don’t know what happened after this because I left the store, but as I walked out stainy was pointing out other games he thought sucked, and the duo had resigned themselves to dealing with this uninvited guest.

I don’t know any of the gentlemen in the scene, but I do know what I would have said if I had been the victim of SSB’s hapless crusade.

“Shut your piehole.” And trust me, I wish I could be more profane here.

These were just two guys looking for a new game to play. They didn’t need someone else’s opinions shoved down their throat.

Not that I’m against stopping someone from making a bad purchasing decision. I’ve certainly done so myself. The difference is, I said, “excuse me, sir, I’ve played Fantavision, and I didn’t think it was very fun.”

Then I turned and walked away.

The moral here is: don’t be a video game snob.

There are many levels of video game snobbery, and I don’t want to get into each one, but honestly why should I have to? You know it’s wrong. Stop being a jerk.

It’s not wrong to share your opinions, and I can understand why you would get frustrated watching someone struggle with a game’s controls when you are waiting in the kiosk line, but there is no need to be arrogant with your opinions or make fun of someone else while they are playing the game (if you are online it’s still wrong).

Have you ever run into one of those wine snobs who turns up their nose at your $15 Pinot Grigio, or a music snob who can’t shut up about how this band you’ve never heard of is better than anything on your iPod. Well guess what? Every time you make fun of someone for liking a game you hate you are being that guy. Games are supposed to be fun. Don’t kill that experience for someone.

It doesn’t matter if your opinion is right. This kind of behavior is wrong.

And it makes you a ***. Stop being one.

Games I Would Play…If Anyone Made Them #2

Ben Reeves — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:37:00 GMT

What would happen if a robot was program so it couldn’t hurt us, and yet it could read our minds?

If an AI was programmed to learn, could it be raised like a human and mature into an adult intellect?

What would happen if the programming rules all robots with came under conflict? How might a robot unintentionally put human life in danger?

Isaac Asimov’s three laws of robotics, and the I, Robot stories he wrote around them, explored the physiological, social, and philosophical dilemmas humanity might have to deal with if they ever produced androids with brains as sophisticated as the human mind. Asimov wrote his book in the ‘50s, and surprisingly, many of these topics still feel under explored today.

In 1978, Harlan Ellison wrote a screenplay for Asimov’s book, which never saw theatrical production. Ellison’s script did a good job of combining all of Asimov’s themes into a single narrative thread. He brought to life a world where humanities ignorance over robotics ignited religious riots. He imagined a future where humanity had figured out how to safely cryogenically freeze themselves, but were still able to communicated with those frozen minds. And he shaped a story about a reporter’s relentless quest to uncover the truth about the first President of the Galactic Federation.

I actually enjoyed the 2004 Will Smith film, but after reading Ellison’s script it hurts to think about what could have been.

Ellison’s script probably never saw the light of a projector because the movie would have been five hours long and cost billions to produce (especially back in the ‘70s). It also might have had something to do with the fact that Ellison got into a fight where he told the studio head of Warner Bros. Studio that he had the “intellectual capacity of an artichoke.”

But you know what medium routinely delivers a longer narrative, and can more cheaply handle the production of special effects and fantasy settings?

The Story Of The Shy Gamers

Ben Reeves — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:42:00 GMT

I attended a holiday party this last weekend and noticed something startling.

My friend had asked me to bring over Rock Band, so I did. When I got to his house there were already a couple dozen people milling about. It was time to get the party’s energy up, so I shut down the holiday muzak and booted up The Beatles Rock Band. A few people “oohed” over the game’s opening cenematic, but then went back to hanging out by the food and talking in little clicks.

I played the game with a few close friends for a while, but we couldn’t get anyone else to join in on the action. Understandably, there were people from all walks of life at this party, and I know they weren’t all gamers, but I was surprised how hard it was to get anyone else to come over and play Rock Band. Some of them looked genuinely interested, but they were too timid to come and play.

“I’m just gonna watch for a bit.”

You’d think I was asking them to step onstage in front of millions of real people and perform in their underwear.

After a while my two friends and I set down our instruments and went to play shuffleboard in the basement. Five minutes later I ran upstairs, and I could hear people in the other room playing Rock Band. Everyone who had watched us play for an hour, refusing to join under our prodding, had finally wandered over to the game once no one was looking.

After that, I couldn’t get people off the instruments. We played until 3AM.

What’s disturbing is that I’ve noticed instances similar to this occur during industry events and conventions that filled with people who work in the industry and play games all the time. Some people just don’t want to play a game while someone else is looking over their shoulder?

I’ve also noticed this phenomenon with board games and sports. The older we get, the more wary we are of trying something new, it would seem.

This never happened when I was a kid. You couldn’t play a game for more that five minutes without someone trying to grab the controller out of your hands. What is it about adults that makes us wary of playing with strangers? Where does this false sense of politeness come from?

Have we lost our sense of wonder?

Are we too concerned about what others will think if we under perform?

The moral of the story is don’t be afraid to play. Next time someone hands you a controller don’t shove it off on someone else. You never know what new experience a game will open up for you, or how many new stories you’ll have to tell after it’s done, or the new friends you’ll make in the process.

That is what games are for.

Have fun.

Games I Would Play…If Anyone Made Them #1

Ben Reeves — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 01:53:00 GMT

Someone should make a Sherlock Holmes game.

I don’t care who, but I think it could be awesome.

Why, you ask? Simple elementary, my dear. Here are just a few reasons.

It’d Make A Great Single Player Game – Not many games have tried to deliver a definitive detective game, but titles like Batman: Arkham Asylum, Indigo Prophecy, and even the truth from Assassin’s Creed II have had elements of sleuthing that were great. Maybe its time someone came along and shaped the ultimate detective experience.

It Would Have Built In Co-Op – Of course, what would a Sherlock Holmes game be without the good Dr. Watson? Watson is more than just a device for Holmes to explain all his revelations. Watson is smart, a skilled surgeon, and has been known to help crack a case or two. Watson also serves as an emotional ground for Holmes – the emotionally detached analytical machine. In several stories Holmes even asks Watson to bring his revolver along. How’s that for intrigue?

It Would Be A Great Detective Game – This could be the ultimate thinking man's game. Holmes' methods of deduction would make for a great puzzle/adventure game. What’s more, it has real word applications. The British military (MI5 and MI6) both train their agents in what they call Sherlockian Deduction.

It Wouldn’t Have To Be A Detective Game – Everyone thinks of Sherlock Holmes as this stoic thinker who sits around with a pipe and violin and solves riddles all day. While Holmes’ skill in problem solving is one of the things that makes him cool, he was also an action hero. A skilled bare-knuckles boxer, an expert fencer, and a student of the fictional martial art of baritsu, Holmes would be an interesting protagonist for any action game.

It’s Family Friendly – Not just family friendly; Holmes has worldwide appeal. Sherlock Holmes stories were so popular that, even in an area without computers, people wrote fan fiction about him. Today Holmes has influenced the creation of shows like House M.D., Monk, and Law & Order: Criminal Intent. He’s appeared in literature as broad as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics and Dr. Who novels. Even games like Professor Layton and Phoenix Wright seem to pay homage to the great detective. Why not just get the real deal?

Sherlock Homes Is A *** – Sherlock Holmes is a layered character; he had lady problems and a drug habit. At least seven of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's stories talk about Holmes' cocaine addiction and his occasional use of morphine. Holmes was far from a drug addict, however. In late-19th-century England these drugs were legal and had a different social image, but the fact that Holmes had character flaws makes him all the more interesting.

In short, Sherlock Holmes is a rich character with broad appeal, and would be a versatile character for a variety of games. The time period and location of many of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories are virtually untapped. The question isn’t “would Sherlock Holmes make a good game?” The question is “why hasn’t it been done yet?”

Sherlock Holmes already has a solid collection of PC adventure titles, including this Sega CD game, but I think he deserves more

The Cutting Room Floor: Games That Didn’t Make the Top 200

Ben Reeves — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:17:00 GMT

As you are probably aware, Game Informer recently released its list of the Top 200 Games of All Time. I’m sure you thought of a game or two that should have made the list and didn’t. If it makes you feel any better, we had the same problem. Two hundred is a lot of games, but it turns out there are even more great games out there. Here are a few of the games that I fought for, but as was clearly stated in the magazine, “we dismissed Ben’s ideas outright.” (Thank goodness Bryan back me up on the whole Smash Bros. Melee thing.) So here are the games that might have made the list if anyone cared about my opinion.

1. Resident Evil (GameCube remake)

More than seven years old at this point and the game still looks amazing. The GameCube remake of the definitive survival horror game made the series scary again. Yeah, you still have to deal with tank controls. Sorry.

2. Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver 2

I’d put this whole series on the list if I could. The Legacy of Kain series helped show me that video game storytelling could be just as engrossing as a book or a movie. Plus, I really loved Kain’s voice. My friends and I used to quote this game all the time while doing impersonations of the characters. Dorks!

3. Double Dragon II

Yeah, we got Double Dragon on our list, but the sequel was so much better. I loved the addition of the Hurricane kick. My buddy and I would play this game until our thumbs bled (that literally happened once.) Plus, the game’s advertising reminded me of Back to the Future. (Even though they look nothing alike.)

4. Earthworm Jim

Earthworm Jim was everything my adolescent self wanted in a game. It was a great platformer filled with silly characters and environments, and it was hilarious.

5. SSX 3

SSX was like Tony Hawk with snow, back when Tony Hawk was good. I remember playing SSX 3 and thinking that games didn’t need to get any better looking. Of course, I’m glad they have. Every time I go snowboarding I think about how awesome this game was, and how I’d like another (On Tour and Blur didn’t quite cut it). Now that EA has mastered skateboarding maybe we’ll see a return to the slopes.

6. Jade Empire

Bioware just can’t miss with me. Sure, Jade didn’t make the splash that Mass Effect and Star Wars: KOTOR have, but this Action/RPG steeped in Chinese mysticism was one of my most memorable experiences of 2005.

7. Dragon Force

The second best Saturn game of all time, this is another title not many people have played. Basically you took control of one of several generals and led your army into battle. It sounds tried to death today, but in 1996 watching 200 dudes collide into each other was a jaw dropping event.

8. Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel

Here’s an obscure one for you history buffs. I was going to put Myst on my list, because we snubbed that game, but then I remembered all the hours I spend in my high school computer class playing Cosmic Osmo instead of doing real work. This was the game Cyan made before Myst. It wasn’t as refined, and it’s hard to look at now, but it was a super-engrossing adventure title in its day.

9. Xenogears

What’s better than Xenosaga? The PSone prequel (but really a sequel that was released first. Huh, Namco?). Forget the hour-long cutscenes of people eating lunch, the squeaky voices, and the rambling philosophical diatribes, Xenogears focused on what mattered: a great battle system and giant robots.

10. Mirror’s Edge

Okay, top 200? Maybe not, but I needed something to round out this top 10. Mirror’s Edge was also one of my favorite titles last year. Not enough of you played it, and I want a sequel.

The Greatest Game Of All Time; One Man's Power Dragon Fantasy

Ben Reeves — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:29:00 GMT

I get asked, “So, what’s your favorite game?” a lot. Often this question comes from one of my non-gamer friends or someone I’ve just met after they learn that I play video games for a living.

I like to tell these people that my favorite game is Panzer Dragoon Saga.

I do this for two reasons. One, I actually believe it is one of the best – and sometimes overlooked – games of all time. Two, I like the look of utter ignorance that spreads across their face when I mention the game. Sometime I even get the “oh yeah that game,” nod, even though it’s clear they’ve just stepped into a realm of discussion they are completely ignorant about.

I assume most of the people reading this post, however, have probably heard of the game.

I won’t go into too much detail about Saga for two reasons. For one, if you’ve played it you don’t need me to. And two, if you haven’t you’ll probably have trouble tracking it down at this point, and even if you did, you’d probably disagree with me.

Our favorite games are sometimes a result of what we’ve experienced in a game up to that point, our general emotional state while we’re playing it, and the era in which we play it.

Sure, the original Legend of Zelda is still a great game, but if I were to play it today for the first time, it wouldn’t have the same kind of emotional impact on me as when I played it when I was ten. Sometimes you can’t go back.

I don’t think this is all that profound, but our lives color our perception of a game.

For me I think all of these factors peaked to a perfect point and helped make Panzer Dragoon Saga one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. I found the battle system exciting and completely original, the story was engaging, and the game’s cinematics felt truly epic, for their time. Sure, the graphics don’t hold up (check out the screen above), but in 1998 that didn’t matter.

In all honestly, I’ve played a fair share of games that I’ve probably liked about as much as Panzer (Metal Gear Solid, Resident Evil 2, and Half-Life 2 come to mind) and there are certainly games that I feel have left a bigger mark on the industry, or games that I think have produced better technological achievements.

But if you just ask me what the greatest game of all time is, I’ll just smile with a memory, “Panzer Dragoon Saga.”

Awesome Things That Show Up On My Desk #3

Ben Reeves — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:32:00 GMT

I have a lot of things on my desk; I don’t always know where these things come from, but sometimes they freak me out. This is what showed up today.

A dust bunny survival kit huh? When would I ever need one of those?

What the who-hell? A minute later this thing showed up on my desk. At least it’s cute.

Holy crap! It’s lunging for my throat. Get it off. Get it off!

Boy it sure is a good thing Dust-Off sent me that dust bunny survival kit. It actually works, and I still have seven of my original fingers.

Head spinning. Too much blood. I have to go pass out now.

Gaming Is A Great Verb, But A Terrible Adjective

Ben Reeves — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:17:00 GMT

I love gaming as a hobby, but whenever someone comes out with a new product specifically marketed to gamers it just comes across as skeevy and exploitive. Why can’t gamers drink normal Mountain Dew and eat Twix like everyone else? Seriously, why do these things exist?

In case you can’t tell what that last one is, it’s a gaming supplement for professional gamers called FPS Brain. It’s supposed to make you…think…faster!

Anybody know of a product I missed? Any of you ever tried some of these?

The Prince Of Persia Gets More Mail Than I Do

Ben Reeves — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:58:00 GMT

Okay, so we have a few statues around the office. One of these statues is the Prince of Persia. You might recognize him from a game called The Prince of Persia. Anyway, he’s started getting mail.

I don’t know how he ended up on the Official PlayStation Magazine mailing list, but apparently they thought that since the Prince was in one of the greatest games of all time that he’d like to know which upcoming PlayStation 3 games he should play. Don’t worry he’s already got a Game Informer subscription.

So I was thinking that since he’s already getting mail, we might as well start up a Prince of Persia mailbag. Have a question you want to ask the Prince? Want dating advice or workout tips? Need to know how to deal with a bad emo haircut? Send you questions to:

The Prince of Persia
724 North First St., Third Floor
Minneapolis, MN 55401

The Prince might just respond to your letters here.

Awesome Things That Show Up On My Desk #2

Ben Reeves — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:56:48 GMT

I have a lot of things on my desk; I don’t always know where these things come from, but sometimes they’re good for a laugh. Last week I got these Dr. Grordbort's Rayguns from Weta (see above). They’re awesome.

I was feeling pretty good with how my desk looked, but then I started to get the rush of Star Trek crap.

Now I love Star Trek, but do we really need Star Trek Scrabble? What’s even the point? Are you supposed to just spell things from the Star Trek Universe. Would the word Andorian give you extra points? Come on guys!

But as bad as that was, this is what pushed me over the edge:

Do you know what it is?

It’s a Star Trek golf putter.

I’m done!

Awesome Things That Show Up On My Desk #1

Ben Reeves — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:22:26 GMT

I have a lot of things on my desk; I don’t always know where these things come from. Some of them – like my collection of Spider-Man figures from around the world – are supposed to be here. Other things – like the Zack & Wiki puzzle pieces that Joe scattered all over the place – are not. Here are just some of the things that have randomly jumped into my life.

This goes with the Lost pic above; it’s a Dharma Initiative orientation video

This showed up last week. An hour later I receive an email saying it was safe to open (no joke)

This is what was inside

Sweet Plants vs. Zombies costumes; clearly these are better than anything someone could make at home

Lem just showed up one day. Now he has a prominent position next to the Spider-Mans

There’s A Zombie On Your Lawn – Tales From The Dark Side Of The Pub Crawl

Ben Reeves — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:11:57 GMT

She had short brown hair, a button nose and an eyebrow ring. Her costume was more like sexy gothic vampire than bloated decaying body. As far as zombies go, she was cute. I was interested.

“What are you?” she asked.

“I’m a plant,” I said with a confident smile. Girls like that. Always smile.

Her face scrunched up. Her voice turned pompous. “Why?”

“Screw you, lady.”

Well, maybe I didn’t say that, but my eyes did.

She had a point. Why did I go to the Zombie Pub Crawl as a plant?

It seemed like a good idea three months ago. PopCap’s Plants vs. Zombies was one of the best games I’d played all summer. My buddies and I had a lot of fun imaging what it would be like to dress up as Peashooters and throw tennis balls at zombies.

The problem is I’m not very crafty. I took drafting as an art elective—in other words, I need a protractor and a T-square to draw a picture of a table. I knew going in that my Snow Pea costume would be a shaggy piece of work.

Exhibit A: What a plant looks like.

Exhibit B: What I looked like.

Even so, I was surprised how many people hassled me about my costume. For a bunch of people dressed shabby enough that homeless people were giving them pity looks, they were pretty judgmental.

One Of Us Looked Pretty Stupid. It Was Me

I guess I should have expected this. Last year our group went as Marvel Zombies and I decided to dress as a zombified Fin Fang Foom. Fin Fang Foom is a lesser-known dragon Marvel created back in the ‘60s and he’s about as popular as herpes. I guess I just like being obscure.

My Brother Takes Down A Road Cone Zombie. One Of Our Few Victories

Last year I was never assaulted. On my way out of our last bar, a chubby female zombie grabbed me by the snout and roared in my face. I think she was trying to eat by brain, but it kind of looked like she was about to kiss me. She succeeded in neither, but actually ended up flicking a spray of drunkard spittle all over my face before I pushed her back.

The Bar, Moments Before the Spitting

Momentarily stunned, I watched her lurch back like she was about to vomit. Thankfully we didn’t exchange any other fluids, but she awkwardly stared at me while leaning against the bar, sweating from every pore on her face. If she knew where she was, she was hiding it very well.

I threw one of my painted tennis balls at her and squeezed through the crowd toward the zombified street. Dressing as a flower must have turned me into a passive aggressive pansy. Next year I’ll have to go as Kratos.

This year a lot of people called me everything from dinosaur, Yoshi and dragon. One person thought I was a dolphin. Only two people (out of thousands) got it.

Famous Zombies I’ve Met & Bad Captions

Ben Reeves — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 23:29:42 GMT

The Minnesota Zombie Pub Crawl was filled with lots of freaks – after all Game Informer was there. Check out some of the crazy nerd costumes I saw while I was there. Tomorrow I'll post an account of my personal experiences from the night.

There were so many Marios this year that eventually I stopped taking pictures of them

Wayne’s World, Party Time. I think Wayne ate Garth

I thought there were going to be a horde of Michael Jackson zombies this year, but I only ran in to one. Maybe that is a good news for humanity

It truly is horrible; Dr. Horrible is a zombie

What are they serving at Burger King?

Superman is a zombie? I guess that explains why he’s so stupid…oh burn!

Looks like Harry Potter has caught more than the Snitch this time

Raggedy Andy eats wasabi by the handful

I ran into the yellow brick road crew near the end of the night