I'm going to tell you Mario jumped up onto this pumpkin to give himself a better chance of reaching a platform, but we all know what he's really up to. In a day and age where people are taking pictures of their wieners on cell phones stolen from NFL quarterbacks, we need our fictional characters to remain pure. This act of indecency craps all over Mario's good name. Shame on you, Mario.

This excellent Halloween window clinger photo comes courtesy of Game Informer reader HK-47. If anyone knows where I could get one, please let me know!