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Record Of Agarest War's Limited Edition Delivers Much More Than A Game

by Jeff Cork on Apr 28, 2010 at 10:35 AM

This is the front of the Record of Agarest War box. As you can see, the people who put it together are masters of subtle eroticism. Let's see inside, shall we?

Wait, hold up. Record of Agarest War, you say? What is it? According to the ESRB's website, it is a creepy game for creeps. I may be paraphrasing a little bit, but that's the takeaway message here. All you need to know at this point is that the game features combat where small characters stand in place and female characters' breasts are partially obscured by towels, hot-spring mist, bed sheets, and revealing costumes. It also has a super-classy limited edition, which I will show you here in breathtaking detail.

 

Here is some more of that subtlety at work. The girl in the top image is eating some kind of strange sausage. OK, it's probably some other kind of foodstuff. Regardless of what it is, I don't think that it's really important.

Cornucopia of Debauchery would be an awesome name for a band.

Here's the other side of the box. A girl is eating a banana, and another girl's face is dripping with custard. Subtle eroticism.

And here it is from another angle. I think at this point I stopped paying attention and started pressing the shutter button at random.

If you wanted to see the back of the box straight on, it's your lucky day!

And here's the front again. Without the shrink wrap. You know what that means, right?

We're going inside the box! What's this? It's some kind of mousepad in a protective bubble-wrap layer.

Scratch that. It's a sexy mousepad. Notice the third eye. No, seriously, eyes up here. Look at this crazy third eye.

OSHA would be proud. HR, not so much.

Why, what could this be? Hint: It is the saddest thing you will probably see today.

It's a pillowcase with a lady printed on it! It's printed vertically so you can hug it and fill your pillow's lining with tears of shame.

Oh yeah, there's also a game. What the?! What are those dudes doing there? Get out of the way, fellas!

And here's the inside of the case. Remember when Lost Odyssey shipped and Microsoft threw three DVDs on the case's spindle and put the last one in a paper sleeve? This game has a better case.

This is what the whole bundle will look like together when you hastily stuff if under your bed before mom finds you playing the game.

And a teaser for the next game. "Lolis smile back"? What's a loli? Be right back.

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OK, don't Google that.