We've been sharing Game Informer's official picks for the most anticipated games of the fall all week, but as any competent horologist can tell you, we've still got a few weeks of summer standing between us and the gaming cornucopia that the changing seasons bring. That's why, in my continued selfless service to the community,  I've taken it upon myself to round up all of the great games of summer that you can start playing right now. What's that you say? There aren't any? Ah, crap...

Look, I get it, developers – summer is a lousy time to release a video game. People don't want to sit indoors and stare at a television when they can be out stuffing copious amounts of barbecued meat in their face or frolicking on a beach like all the happy families in Jaws.* Even I struggle with gaming in the summer, and I'm getting paid to do it! It makes perfect sense that you'd rather take your chances in the fall, when consumers start looking for winter-hibernation entertainment and gearing up for holiday shopping sprees.

There's just one problem with that: I've got a column to write! And unlike you, I can't just postpone Funny To A Point until November, when all the other humor columns are coming out and people are trying to decide which humor columns to get their friends and family for Christmas. If I don't have new games to play, I don't have anything to write about, which means I have to start making crap up. And being brilliant is a lot of work!

Even worse, I've already promised my readers a round-up of summer games to play, and like all statements on the Internet, I'm now obligated to ensure that it's 100-percent truthful. So, what do you say, guys? Can we just release some of the big fall games early? Call of Duty? Assassin's Creed Origins? Hell, I'll even take Knack II. No?

Fine. I'll do it myself: Here's my legally accurate list of 10 games I have played during the summer, that I am now anticipating playing again because I have to. You're WELCOME.

#10: HORSE
No, I didn't grow up with my own damn horse like some pampered trust-fund baby – I'm talking about the basketball game. I lack the height and coordination to play real basketball (one-on-one matches with my brother usually ended in embarrassment for both of us – though I've seen worse), but standing in one spot and hurling the ball in the general direction of the hoop? That I can do! Of course, since we were kids, we usually opted to spell out something a little more colorful than "Horse," like "Crapbag" or "Butthead." In our teenage years, we opted for "Whores," which is still a clever** bit of wordplay.

Whatever the target word was, matches inevitably devolved into attempting the most outlandish trick shots possible, like heaving the ball over the roof of the house, or behind-the-back shots from the middle of the street. The only reason Horse doesn't rank higher is because if I break anything with a wild throw nowadays, I'm the one who has to fix it. Being an adult sucks.

#09: "Fishing"
I probably could've scored some major Dude Points by listing real fishing here, but I'm legally obligated to stick to the facts, hence the quotation marks. In this case "fishing" is a game my nieces and nephew play during our annual family vacation up north. The kids dangle clothespins tied to strings over the second-story railing in the cabin, then wait for an adult to clip something on and give it a tug. Seeing their excitement as they reel in a stuffed animal/pack of fruit snacks/dirty sock (that one always gets laughs) is priceless. At least it is the first 10 times – then it becomes a game of looking for someone else to take over fish duty. Oh well; it may not be as manly as real fishing, but at least I score some Uncle Points.

#08: Cornhole
A true modern classic of backyard gaming, Cornhole is a lot of fun – and not just because of the thousand immature jokes the name affords. Like Horse, Cornhole tests your motor skills without any of the exertion of an actual physical sport. The game consists of trying to throw small beanbags through a hole on a raised wooden platform (or at your opponent's head if you're losing badly enough). It's essentially Horseshoes, only a lot more practical – I mean, where do you even find horseshoes nowadays?***

I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with Cornhole. On one hand, it's a great, carefree game to play with friends and family on a nice summer day. On the other hand, I never seem to get better at it, which drives the competitive gamer in me crazy. Also, it seems to attract its share of bro-holes, who take the game way too seriously. Then again, if you do get stuck playing against one of those guys, at least you'll be armed with enough beanbags to pelt them into next week.

#07 #0: JARTS
Another spin on Horseshoes (seriously, what's with all the horses this week?), Jarts also entailed trying to best your opponent by throwing objects into a hole – only this time the hole was a large plastic ring, and the objects were giant, deadly darts. Fun!

We used to play Jarts all the time up at my grandparents' cabin – it was only until I was much older that it dawned on me how ridiculously dangerous they were. And boy were they ever! Over 6,700 amateur Jartists were hospitalized with injuries from the game over a 10-year period. I don't even want to know how many innocent pets got harpooned! It doesn't change my nostalgia for the game, but in the interest of consumer safety, I'm striking Jarts from list – you and your friends should stick to Cornholing each other. Heh.

#06: Frisbee Golf
Ah, the one form of golf that doesn't end with me angrily throwing my club into a water hazard (sadly, mini-golf is not exempt from that list). I've already established that I'm not the most coordinated person, but even I can't screw up throwing a Frisbee. Hmm...I'm just now realizing how similar lawn sports are – you're basically doing the exact same thing in all of them. However, Frisbee Golf at least involves going to an actual course that you walk around, which makes it feel like more of a legitimate sport. Well, at least until you get stuck behind a group of stoners...

Coming Up Next: Five more entries to complete my legally obligated list of games I have both played in the summer and anticipated at one point or another...

*Before Jaws starts eating everybody, OBVIOUSLY. (back to top)
**Well, more clever than crapbag and butthead, at least. (back to top
***Other than on a horse's feet, that is. (back to top)