Science-Fiction Weekly – The Best And Worst Of Mass Effect's Companions

In just two short weeks we have the chance to enter the Andromeda Galaxy. The journey takes us 780 kiloparsecs from Earth, and everyone at our side is a stranger. The N7 logo on our chest is familiar and comforting, but everything else about Mass Effect Andromeda will likely feel alien. BioWare is leaving Commander Shepard and his or her crew behind. That story is done. What we'll discover is anyone's guess. In 2006, the Spitzer Space Telescope discovered Andromeda is a spiral galaxy much larger than our Milky Way, containing double the number of stars, which is believed to be over one trillion.

We know BioWare isn't making an endless game like No Man's Sky, so we won't explore most all of these stars, but we do know Andromeda is the developer's biggest effort yet, and a lot of the depth comes from companion missions – one of the most popular elements from the core series, and a reason why most people say Mass Effect 2 is their favorite entry. I was going to use this week's column to profile some of the new companions we'll get to know in Andromeda, but I shied away from them for the sake of spoilers, especially when the game's release grows ever close, like the falling moon in Majora's Mask.

I instead thought it would be fun to highlight Shepard's most beloved companions, and a few clinger-ons who I had little empathy for – one of which I wouldn't mind "accidentally" jettisoning into the sun. I'd love for you to get involved in this discussion and list your favorite companions in the comments section below. Don't just give me names. Let me know why you love or hate them.

For the sake of context, my Shepard was red-headed, female, stubborn, intelligent, yet sometimes careless. She didn't always make the right choices, but I felt she earned the trust of her team. She bounced between paragon and renegade actions, but the intent of the resolve was always "what leads to a safer universe." She developed an intimate relationship with Jacob Taylor, a former Alliance Marine who could hold his own on the battlefield. The funny thing; I didn't find Jacob all that interesting. I helped him search for his father, and sided with him whenever I could, but I mostly enjoyed his campy dialogue. His story was fairly dull when stacked up against his teammates'. "Win, lose, doesn't matter. I want you." That was his pick-up line. Selecting "Kiss him" after that advance was difficult, but why the hell not. Jacob was my lover, but he's definitely one of those clinger-ons that wasn't in my inner circle.

The two cohorts I bonded with the most were Mordin Solus and Garrus Vakarian. I think most people agree Garrus was the best written of the companions, and had the most believable chemistry with Shepard. He's front and center in all three Mass Effect titles, and he was the rock that Shepard needed. He was also snarky as all get out, and I loved him for that. "You realize this plan has me walking into hell, too. Hah. Just like old times." That's easily my favorite quip of his, but I enjoyed him more for his ability to shift on a dime to introspective, troubled, harrowing, and downright difficult. He's a towering accomplishment of a character, and knowing he won't be there at your side in Andromeda is going to be a strange sensation. It puts a lot of pressure on BioWare's scribes to create a friend that can fill that void. I hope they don't just try to make Garrus 2.0.

Mordin was the ray of light on my crew. He could brighten any day with his quick-fire commentary and even-tempered reasoning. He also sang, a moment that instantly cemented him as a fan favorite. Yes, krogan genocide is a part of who he is, but, well, HE SANG A SONG ABOUT SCIENCE AND STUFF! That's all that matters. Mordin was a perfect diamond. He did nothing wrong.

As much as I enjoyed questing with Urdnot Wrex and Liara T'Soni – two fantastic characters – I found myself more intrigued by characters with serious baggage or issues, like Thane Krios, and Miranda Lawson. Miranda's connection to Cerberus (and Jacob) was fascinating, and she wanted to implant a control chip into my mind, which should get her spaced, but I admire the drive she showed. Thane was doomed from the start with a genetic disease, and was quick to do anything I asked, but he was humbled by his conscience at times.

Now the moment you've been waiting for: the fodder. Kaidan Alenko is hands down the most irritating of Shepard's crew. Looking back on the Mass Effect trilogy now, I realize you need bad to make good work. You can't just have an ensemble of awesome characters. You need a prickly weed to add realism to the mix. Kaidan is that wilted dandelion. I wish he would have taken a bullet for me over and over again.

A distant second for worst character on the Normandy was James Vega. His story was fine, but I never liked the way he looked at me. Petty, I know, but his eyes always said "You did something wrong," or "Did you fart?" I couldn't be around him long, unless he looked away. Here's the concrete evidence:

"You did something wrong."

"Did you fart?"

My heart didn't hold much space for Zaeed Massani. He was "that old guy" on my ship. Javic, EDI, and Grunt were also just kind of there. I didn't put much mind share into their narratives.

I know you're wondering why I didn't highlight Tali in any capacity. She was an enigma for me most of the way through the series. I liked her character design and her backstory, but I couldn't get a good read on her intentions or involvement with Shepard. I kept her at bay, something I often do with people in the real world (one of my many flaws).

Tali is an example of how BioWare is so successful at developing characters. They all read differently, and may be likable or unlikable on the surface, but show their true colors over time. Few games even come close to delivering this kind of depth of character. I'll say this again: Mass Effect is just two weeks away. We'll soon have new friends and enemies. New places to explore and tech to utilize. How exciting.