It’s no secret that half the fun of the imminently destructive Just Cause 3 is spying a location in the distance and using whatever means necessary to get there, whether it be paragliding, skydiving in a wingsuit, or hijacking a military jet with the help of an absurdly competent grappling hook. But before Just Cause 3 spurred the creation of a thousand hilarious gifs, the world of gaming had plenty of odd ways to get around. These are the weirdest means of traversal gaming has to offer.

Squid Form – Splatoon
When considering the physics of a world inhabited by *** cephalopods and an immortal talking cat, is it really such a stretch to believe that a primary mode of transport relies on swimming through ink? Splatoon keeps players’ bipedal forms comparatively slow, forcing them to convert into an adorable squid to both move across the map faster and refill their ink. One special ability even gives players the ability to morph into the invincible Kraken. The only question is, since it’s a fact that cars still exist in this universe, why isn’t all transport done in the clearly superior squid fashion?

Rocket-Boosted Thighs – Vanquish
Before Platinum Games became a production powerhouse, its fourth title in under two years began to boost-slide its way into the hearts of a core fandom of action game fans. Vanquish, heavily influenced by the classic anime Casshern and gameplay of more traditional 2D “bullet hell” games, debuted to much critical praise thanks to its innovative sliding mechanic. As DARPA agent Sam Gideon, players use the Augmented Reaction Suit to wrestle control of a deadly super weapon from a robotic Russian army. Besides slowing down time when health drops dangerously low, the ARS allows its user to slide along the ground at breakneck speed, bypassing enemies and massive amounts of gunfire to grab a better vantage point.

Astral Projection – Driver: San Francisco
Patrick Swayze has nothing on the disembodied ghost of John Tanner, except maybe pottery. After a perilous chase with Driver 3 antagonist Jericho, race car driver-turned police officer Tanner is injured and put into a deep coma. Inside Tanner’s mind, things continue as normal for the high-speed sleuth, save for the addition of the new “Shift” mechanic. Shifting allows Tanner’s conscience to leap from vehicle to vehicle, possessing the driver while retaining his own persona, resulting in no small amount of hilarious encounters. Need a new ride? Take control of that lucky Dodge Viper driver. Losing ground on a fleeing perp? Possess the trucker coming down the next intersection and stop him dead in his tracks. Need to clench a killer stunt? That car carrier with the lowered ramp doesn’t look busy.

Morph Ball – Metroid
One of Metroid’s most important mysteries isn’t the ultimate fate of Samus’ adoptive parents, the Chozo, or Samus’ intentionally vague disposition. It’s actually how a six-foot-three-inches tall space bounty hunter manages to curl up inside of a ball roughly two-and-a-half feet in diameter. First appearing in the original Metroid as the “marumari,” Samus’ morph ball allows the hunter to slink through previously inaccessible areas, helping to define Metroid’s distinct interconnected world. Fans theorize that Samus is able to use the ball by momentarily becoming pure energy, indicated by the glow seen emitting from the ball’s seams. Others believe it has something to do with pocket dimensions. If you ask us, it’s probably the same technology as Pokéballs – but would that make Ridley Charizard’s son?

City-Issued Roller Coaster Claw – BioShock Infinite
Sure, plenty of games have their various grappling hooks and their rappelling ropes, but none come close to the absurd contraption that is BioShock Infinite’s skyhook. Originally used by young hooligans as a makeshift means to commit death-defying stunts on the city's precarious cargo transport rails, Columbia’s man of industry Jeremiah Fink eventually mass produced a more stable version for the city’s police and militia forces. Magnetic attraction allows for protagonist Booker to hop from one track to the next without worry of looking at Columbia from the bottom up. Just make sure to wipe off after accidentally gutting an officer with it. It gets a little messy.