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Question Of The Month Reader Responses: Issue #265
In issue 263, we asked readers who the unluckiest character in gaming is. A number of classic characters earned the commiseration of our readers, as did a few modern stars. Here are some of the responses we received.
Mario Misery:
- Mario is the unluckiest video game character on Earth. He's either woefully misinformed of his duties as a plumber or he has the worst union contract in the history of ever.
Seumas Irving - I believe the unluckiest character is Mario. He risks his life over and over, defending himself against killer turtles, mushrooms, fire, Jaws, and hammer-chucking enemies. Then, he gets to the end of a world, only to be told by Toad that he's in the wrong castle. Seven times. Then when he finally does get to Peach, he takes an immediate face plant into the friend zone and then some. All he gets is a cake and a 'Thank you, want to do that again?' Toad has more gratitude, and he's a mushroom in a diaper!
Jonathan Koczkodan - I think the unluckiest video game character has got to be Mario. He's been chasing the same woman for 30 years now only to have her keep leaving him, buying new castles, and seeing Bowser on the side. He has a younger brother that is taller than him, and outshines him on a regular basis. When he finally does get his friends together for a karting expedition, they all crash him. And if that isn't enough, he can never seem to get that monkey off his back! (Donkey Kong.)
Burt Hamernick - It has to be Mario. He goes from castle to castle looking for his stolen princess only to be told by some stranger “Hey thanks for saving us with your precious time, but that princess you’re looking for is in another castle!” I mean, come on!
Garrett Robertson
On The Other Hand...:
- In my opinion, Princess Peach is the unluckiest character of all time. Why? Because she has been kidnapped by Bowser and blasted by blue shells many times. She has the worst luck out of any video game character by far.
Karl Schultz - I would have to say that Princess Peach is the most unfortunate video game character. She has been kidnapped and/or attacked almost twenty times throughout the series. Not only is she forced to live with Bowser for that time, but her only hope is a ragtag group of plumbers and their mushroom friends.
Nick Reese
Other Platforming Protagonists With Problems:
- I have to say that it is Spelunky Guy. Every time you play the game, you die in so many different ways. You get crushed by rocks, fall on spikes, get killed by skeletons, and fall into lava. And frogs. What other character can get killed by frogs?!
Will Nelson - That would have to be the poor boy from Limbo. How much worse can it get than to wake up in hell and then stumble around in the dark, only to happen upon one deadly trap after another?
Jonny Lewis - Sonic easily takes the cake here. In addition to facing the usual villains within his games, he's often undermined from external enemies like Big Red Button. In a way he's kind of like the Nicolas Cage of gaming.
Hayden Szepkouski
The Hapless Hero:
- Leon S. Kennedy is hands down the unluckiest character ever. Congratulations on becoming a S.T.A.R.S member: Your first assignment is to stop the apocalypse. Hope you enjoy the Secret Service – now rescue the President’s daughter from Los Plagas. New console, new game, biggest obstacle yet; your magnificent bangs won't save you from RE 6. Sorry, Mr. Kennedy, maybe next time.
Joseph Pogue - I'm gonna go with Nathan Drake. Between endless enemies, empty treasure searches, women troubles, questionable friendship loyalties, and constantly getting beat up by the environment, Mr. Drake has some serious bad luck.
Alexis Fundora - I would have to say Isaac Clarke from the Dead Space series. Isaac was just doing his job when some alien-zombie hybrids came and tried to kill him. He was even going to get to see his girlfriend, but we all know how that went.
William Michaeli
Unlucky You:
- The most unlucky in all the land must certainly be Tamriel's Dragonborn. It's just his luck that he has been tasked with putting effing dragons in the ground, and everyone in Skyrim just happens to have some extra crap for him to do. Dragonborn's luck takes an especially steep dive when he meets Klimmek upon entering Ivarstead. The conversation should have gone like this: "Hey there, good sir! Please take this bag to the top of that mountain. Don't worry about your entry level gear and magic...I'm sure the frost trolls up there will be as nice to you as they apparently are to me!"
Doug Coolidge - I'd have to say the unluckiest video game character has to be the average GTA Online character. They're constantly abused by being thrown out of cars, blown up by RPGs, jumping out of planes only to find that they have no parachute, and the list goes on. Their run of bad luck never seems to end, and probably never will.
Chad Borski
A Thorough Explanation:
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Few characters have ever been put in as impossible of a situation as Pac-Man. Here he is, poor guy, reduced to being nothing more than a floating mouth with eyes, hopelessly trapped in a huge maze full of confusing flashing lights and pulsing noises. No matter where he goes, there is no way out; even if he manages to pop every pill (aka “power pellet”) scattered throughout the maze, all that does is transport him to an even more confusing maze! To make matters even worse, he's being relentlessly chased by a bunch of ghosts who can track him down really well and who get better at it as the game goes on. Even if he manages to eat one courtesy of the extra big pills, it only turns them into floating eyeballs that go back to the center of the maze and put on a new ghost suit, then come right back out after him. It's almost as if Toru Iwatani was traumatized by having to play tag and hide and seek as a kid and decided to relive the horror in video game form.
John Enfield
An Equally Compelling Argument:
- Most unlucky video game character and why? Leisure Suit Larry. 'Nuff said.
Bill Todd
Who do you think is the unluckiest video game character of all time? Share your pick in the comments below!
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