The lights are on
Following today's announcement of a Guardians of the Galaxy playset for Disney Infinity: Marvel Super Heroes, I wondered how much fun it would be to play as Groot, a somewhat slow moving tree character. I asked a couple of coworkers what they thought of the announcement and the possibility of playing as Groot, and we quickly found ourselves talking about Marvel Comics characters that should never be included in a game. We're not saying Groot is going to be a horrible character; Avalanche found ways to make Mike Wazowski a fun playable character in the first Disney Infinity game, and we're certain they will do the same with Groot. The weirdness of Groot as a character is what set us down this path.
Most of the characters we discussed have rightfully been locked away in the past, never to return. Some of them, however, have come back in surprising ways. After you look at our selections, we'd love to hear of the horrible characters you remember from Marvel Comics' past.
Asbestos Lady wore a suit made out of asbestos, and used it to battle
characters who wielded the power of fire. She later found out that she
Marvel Comics, if you can't think of any new mutant powers, stick with the characters you already created. If ever there was an example of Marvel scrapping the bottom of the barrel for ideas, it was Maggott, a character with a sentient digestive system. That's right, he learned he had this odd gift when he couldn't keep food down anymore...the two slugs that came out of his stomach were a dead giveaway, too. The slugs could eat any form of matter, and then give that energy to Maggott when they retreated to his abdomen. If Maggott wasn't near his slugs, he would grow weak and...oh screw it...you don't need to know any more.
Yes, it would be cool to play as a gigantic planet with kick-ass facial hair, but we just don't see how Ego, The Living Planet would fit into Disney Infinity. Best case, a level could take place on his face.
Names associated with Doctor Bong are Howard the Duck and Deadpool. From the company he keeps, you'd think he was a joke character, right? His origin story says otherwise. He's a troubled soul. Marvel Comics' official entry for Doctor Bong details a rocky past: "Lester Verde was an overweight child and the constant victim of bullies.
At an early age, he decided to use the power of words to strike out
where he couldn't physically. In college, he pursued a journalism
degree, leaning toward sensationalistic stories, and he used the power
of the written word to falsely accuse his journalism ethics teacher in a
drug scandal thereby destroying his marriage and career." From there, Verde worked out extensively, purchased a castle, and became so proficient at genetic engineering that he created his own humanoid species called Neezers. He also created "Bong-Vision," a way of turning cartoons into three dimensional realities. Now that we think about it, Doctor Bong sounds like an awesome character. Put him in the game, Disney!
She's Central Park's "Greatest Protector," and she once took down Doctor Doom by ordering a bunch of squirrels to attack him. Girl later joined the Great Lakes Avengers, a time in which she found out she was a mutant. The other teammates on the Great Lakes Avengers found out they were also mutants, leading to the team changing their name to the Great Lakes X-Men. The team operated under this name until they won a poker tournament hosted by The Thing. After this landmark event, they became the the Great Lakes Champions.
This is a criminal who uses telescopic legs to rob high-story apartments. Outside of growing and shrinking quickly, there wouldn't be much to Stilt-Man's gameplay. He also uses various weapons to shoot stun gas. He's about as boring as a character gets.
That isn't a mask on her head. Scientist Thursday Rubinstein replaced her head with an electrical device. She turned to a life of crime, and wanted to chop off everyone's heads to make them look just like hers. The electrical device could take any form. In one fight, she turned it into a boxing glove to punch a foe. She doesn't eat, sleep, or breathe.
That cover pretty much sums it up. He has the powers of The Hulk, Human Torch, Spider-Man, Iron Man, Captain America, Cyclops, Wolverine, The Punisher, Daredevil, and for whatever reason, Doctor Doom. Rather than just using these powers, he decided to create a costume that unites all of their looks at once. He is also sponsored by Combos, the tasty treat.
He looks super silly, and his power set is almost impossible to describe. Here's Marvel's official description for his origin: "The 3-D Man was a 1950's hero who came about through the unique merger
of two brothers, Hal and Chuck Chandler. Chuck was a test pilot who was
abducted by alien Skrulls during an important test flight. Earth was seen as a strategic location in the ongoing conflict between the alien Kree, and Skrull Empires,
so the Skrulls were seeking information on Earth's space program and
had captured Chuck to interrogate him. Chuck resisted and escaped,
accidentally causing the explosion of the Skrull spacecraft in the
process. While his brother Hal watched, the radiation from the explosion
seemingly disintegrated Chuck, who disappeared in a burst of light. Hal
later discovered, however, that the light burst had imprinted an image
of Chuck on each lens of Hal's eyeglasses. Through concentration, Hal
could merge the images and cause Chuck to reappear as a
three-dimensional man. Chuck become the costumed adventurer known as the
3-D Man and single-handedly subverted the Skrulls' early attempts to
undermine Earthly civilization." So 3-D Man is actually an imprinted image that comes to life and has powers? Wouldn't the villain just kill the other guy that is making 3-D Man appear? Easiest victory ever. I could see this character working with cooperative gameplay: One player controls the powerful 3-D Man, while the other player just holds down the A button to make 3-D Man appear. If you let go of A, 3-D Man disappears.
Former NFL player turned super hero. Writer Fabian Nicieza says he created this comic book just to try and get free NFL tickets.
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