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Dumb Facts: Kratos Edition

Players have gone on countless revenge quests with Kratos, but there's still a lot about gaming's favorite god killer you might not know. In preparation for God of War: Ascension, here are some dumb facts about Kratos that are in no way meant to be funny.

Dumb Fact #1: Kratos Is A Great Friend
Kratos has developed a reputation for being a bit of a hothead, due to all the god killing and whatnot. But the truth is he's actually a pretty good guy when you get to know him. Whenever one of his pals moves into a new home/castle/underground torture dungeon, Kratos always volunteers to help them move, and doesn't make up excuses in order to avoid doing the heavy lifting.

Dumb Fact #2: Kratos Was A Drama Club Member
Kratos is known for adding a bit of flair to his acts of deicide, but his love of drama started long before his quest for revenge. When he was younger, Kratos was a member of his high school's drama club, where he wrote, directed, and starred in a stage adaptation of his favorite movie, Angels in the Outfield.

Dumb Fact #3: Kratos Tried To Be A Blacksmith
At one point during his god-killing career, Kratos briefly entertained the notion of pursuing a new line of work. His love of finely crafted weapons drew him toward a career in blacksmithing. Kratos even landed an apprenticeship with a respected blacksmith, but things went horribly wrong as soon as his mentor handed Kratos a hammer.

Dumb Fact #4: Kratos Briefly Had A Medical License
Blacksmithing wasn't the only other job Kratos pursued unsuccessfully. His expert knowledge of human/monster anatomy allowed Kratos to fly through medical school, but his career as an optometrist ended in court with a messy malpractice suit...

Dumb Fact #5: Another Failed Job
Kratos' brief stint as a chiropractor also didn't end well.

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Comments
  • Oh, I thought these were going to be actual lesser-known facts about Kratos, but this was still entertaining.
  • Ok

  • That is one fierce Ratatta.

  • Mod
    Little Known Fact: Kratos is also a great motivational speaker.
  • Really wouldn't let Kratos be my chiropractor.

  • Basically Kratos isn't really good at anything besides brutally killing and dismembering his foes. Oh and enacting revenge, can't forget that.
  • Sure, but his is Rattata in the top percentage of Rattata?

  • Was this suppose to be funny?
  • heh.... Good ol fava.

  • meh
  • And....now....what....

    I'm not even sure.

    *goes to put on a pot of coffee

  • uh

  • Kratos had a long and diverse career prior to his god-killing days.

  • Im starting to get the feeling that the title was sarcasm...

  • Kratos Once had access to a time machine and instead of using it to STOP HIMSELF FROM SLAYING HIS FAMILY he uses it to kill MORE relatives. What a f*cking d*ck.
  • Kratos is a very ambitious man, he's just like James Franco :D

  • I still feel bad for killing Hephaestus. I imagine Kratos does too.

  • this was suppose to be funny
  • That's one messed up Rattata.
  • Sorry, but this article sucks. I come to this site for game news and commentary not bad jokes.
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