The lights are on
Since the last edition of Overheard in May, the Game Informer staff has had a lot to say. Every time somebody said something that was a little off, amusing, or punny I popped open a text file and jotted it down. Some of these quotes may be confusing when taken out of their original context, but I hope you enjoy this bizarre glimpse into the everyday life of a Game Informer editor. Also, I should note, I only wrote down quotes that I heard while sitting at my desk so the editors that sit further away are not as well represented... except for Andy McNamara. He is loud.
Above: The view from Ben Hanson's desk. Click to expand.
"You're a robot that was programmed by a sadist." - Jeff Cork to Ben Hanson
"Dan wrote on his resume that he was a video savant." - Tim Turi
"I think he mispelled 'idiot'." - Jeff Cork
"[Lenin's preserved corpse] looks like Peter Moore." - Jeff Cork
Kyle Hilliard: "What? All I heard was '[male genitalia]-warmers'."
Jeff M: "Then you've heard enough."
"Tim, one of these days you are going to say something that's correct and then I'll agree with you." - Jeff Marchiafava
Above: Game Informer editors Dan Ryckert, Ben Reeves, Kyle Hilliard, Andy McNamara, and intern O'Dell Harmon play Nintendo Land.
"It's the royal Wii U." - Tim
"Tis my bowels, my lady." - Jeff M
"I wish I was a big ass****, I'd be so much funnier if I was." - Ben Reeves
"No joke. I literally bought the domain for morningdog.com" - Jim Reilly [explaining his theory that there is a demand to eat hot dogs in the morning]
"You're an overtly sexual man." - Ben Hanson to Tim
"Turkey Sexual... Turkasexual." - Tim
Above: The great Jim Reilly mustering every ounce of enthusiasm within him on the first day of E3 2012.
"I don't follow things blindly like Kojima fans." - Jim
"Or society's rules about 'nudity'." - Jeff Cork
"I can't wait for the next Modern Warfare game, it's just going to be one long explosion." - Jeff Cork
"That's it, I'm putting my foot down. I do it everyday, that's how I walk." - Ben Reeves
"What's wrong? You've got a bur in your craw?" - Ben Reeves
"I wish I had energy. I have to suck energy out of babies." - Jeff M
"Medal of Honor is inspired by actual events. We ACTUALLY went to the theater and saw The Expendables." - Jeff Cork
"I've been to some pretty cool raves." - Andy McNamara
Jeff M: "Wait... I think I called Lakitu a child-molester in a previous feature as well. Why would I do that? Oh wait, I called him a pedophile. Why would I call him a pedophile? Oh, because he uses a fishing pole to snag baby Mario off of Yoshi's back."
"Adam, you don't have to lie to impress us. We know you've seen Jerry Maguire." - Kyle
"No!" - Adam Biessener
"But you have played the strategy game?" - Ben Hanson
"I think it was a Civ expansion." - Tim
"When the moon hits your eye like a people pizza." - Ben Reeves
"Now you're on it!" - A new motivational exclamation from Ben Reeves
"Have you seen the [animated] Transformers movie yet? Your jaw will be on the floor." - Jim
"That sounds painful." - Tim
"No, your body will be on the floor as well. You will nap on the floor." - Hanson
"You're napsty. I'm a napsty boy." - Tim
"Wookie Tookie, you talk to Mookie." - Tim
"The Ed Harris Wheel." - Jeff Cork
"Resident boll weevil." - Jeff Cork
"Siddy of Meiers." - Jeff Cork
"LinkedIn Park." - Jeff Cork
Above: Tim enjoying the view of downtown Minneapolis.
"So there is a Metroid attraction in Nintendo Land? Tim, do you have a Metroid attraction?" - Ben Hanson
"I would say I'm a Metroidsexual." - Tim
"Did you steal my banana and then replace it with a slightly browner banana?" - Jeff M to Tim
"That's an interview tip from Ira Glass." - A pontificating Kyle
"Fiber Glass?" - Ben Reeves
"The host of This American Life: fiberglass. Just rubbing against the microphone." - Kyle
"I would rather burn the roof of my mouth than play Uncharted 3." - Jim
Jeff Cork miming dialogue from Assassin's Creed 3: "Oh, I forgot to do my parchment today. Blah, blah, quill."
"You, sir, are no Leon S. Kennedy." - Jeff Cork
"You know what they say... three times a joke equals the truth." - Jeff M
"Pandora the explora. Please kill me." - Tim
"Better than turtle sex cake." - Tim
Above: Tim Turi and Jeff Cork experimenting with zippers.
"Alright, guys. Time to cool off a little bit." Jim [in the middle of a nerf war]
"Okay, Dr. Lame!" - Jeff Cork as he shoots a nerf bullet at Jim.
"I mean, God wouldn't have given dogs heads if he didn't want them to wear hats." - Ben Reeves
"Do you think Mr. Peanut is a good conversationalist? How many sentences do you think he starts with 'As a wealthy peanut...'" - Jeff Cork
"More like Lion, the Witch, and the Snoredrobe." - Tim [followed by absolute silence]
Ben Reeves [trying to think of a crossword puzzle clue for the word "word"] - "What is a word that... means itself."
"SEGA Genocide." - Tim Turi
"Mouse pad. Mouth pad. Meowth pad... Mewtwo." - Jeff Cork
"It's the .gif that keeps on giving." - Matt Helgeson [while looking at a .gif of raccoons chasing a kid]
"Silent Hill: Book of Mormon." - Tim
"When is our actual deadline?" - Reeves [talking about the magazine]
"Meh, we'll all probably die in our mid-80s or 90s." - Jim
"I thought this game was third person." - Ben Hanson
"Third Pergusson." - Tim
Ben Reeves [pretending that he is in an audience for a school play] - "Boo! You call yourselves an adult?!"
Intern Mike Mahardy picking up our replica of Cloud's buster sword - "Man, this thing is heavy. You could really Sephiroth somebody with this thing."
"You got a lot of pots in the fryer... pan?" - Ben Reeves to Dan Ryckert
Email the author Ben Hanson, or follow on Twitter, and Game Informer.
NO DAN RYCKERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still great though.
Best feature ever, we need more.
Adam's is my favorite.
haha this is great, Ben you make my day...oh wait not today, Turkey makes my day!
Man I love these features. Thanks G.I.'s Ben Hanson.
Amazing as always
I would play Silent Hill: Book Of Mormon.
I like the Buster Sword and the joke about it lol.
I laughed so hard. Thanks for this, Ben Hanson.
Ahh this is my favorite. Thanks for keeping this alive, Ben!
why do you hate uncharted 3 so much, why
"Metal gear ocarina of solid wrestling's time" -Every conversation Dan Ryckert has :)