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Wasting My Life Away: Free-To-Play Confessions of Gaming Loser

Americans, by nature, have very little self-control. I'm American to the core. The casual and mobile offers an intoxicating mix of free, fast, and easy that's hard for even a hardcore gamer to refuse.

I think I have a problem. My moment of clarity came a few minutes ago, when I realized I'd just wasted about 15 minutes playing a Kongregate "game" called Fingerless on my Android phone. I put "game" in scare quotes because it's about as much of a game as "bloody knuckles" or "pull my finger." You see a guillotine onscreen. You touch the opening at the bottom, where the unlucky royal subject's head would go, and hold it there until the blade falls. You get points based on how long you can hold your finger in the spot without getting it cut off. To recap, this is how an adult man -- with a mortgage, marriage, and child -- has been spending his time: holding his finger on a spot on his phone and then removing it quickly over and over again. (Also, said adult male probably should have been doing some, you know, actual work at the time, but let's not tell Andy or Reiner).

That was today. Last night it was some retro-looking racing game called Vector Stunt Mobile that implements MP3s from your phone into the track layouts in some way I couldn't really understand. The best thing you could say about it is that it's playable. It works, but that's about it. But again, it was free…and fast…and right there in my phone. Meanwhile, that copy of Transformers: The Fall of Cybertron (which looks great and got an 9/10 from my colleague Matt Miller) went unplayed one more night.

I've already written about my now-cooling fascination with NimbleBit's Tiny Tower. I'll be honest; if I tracked the hours I dumped into that game versus some actually well-made console games this year, I'd probably want to puke. All these 15 minute chunks of time end up adding up to a lot of time that might have been better spent on a more robust gaming experience. That's not to say that there aren't plenty of free, micro transaction-based, or $0.99 games which offer a lot of depth and great gameplay -- it's just hard to wade through all the detritus. Half the time I end up playing something that's really not worth my time just because I clicked on it randomly.

While there's nothing wrong with free-to-play, mobile, or browser-based games, there is an inherent danger in them to people like myself. Frankly, I'm lazy and often make terrible use of my time. If you put something in front of my face that's marginally entertaining, I'll probably get stuck on it for awhile. I play Fingerless for the same reason that I end up watching the last 40 minutes of Hall Pass instead of The Tree of Life like I planned. I play Tiny Tower for the same reason I end up watching part two of a Real Housewives of Orange County reunion episode instead of finally starting Breaking Bad. Remember how I was going to get up early and work out today? Neither do I.

The key appeal of trash television is simple: it's always on. You just press a button, and there you are, ticking off precious seconds of your life watching the Kardashians. As games become more mobile, easier to access, free of charge, and designed for quick play sessions, I think we're starting to see a similar dynamic forming in this industry.

Free-to-play and mobile games are designed to instantly hook you; and, in the time it takes you to boot up your Xbox, sign into Live, and load the game you've been playing, you'd already be a few minutes into whatever cookie cutter tower defense game you've been playing on your iPad. Also, I think even some of today's best games, like the excellent Borderlands 2, could learn something from these emerging markets about starting a game fast. Frankly, the first couple hours of Borderlands 2 are a slog of tutorials. I wouldn't doubt if there are a good number of more casual gamers that just turned the game off before getting to the good stuff.

The takeaway point here is that I shouldn't be allowed to make my own decisions a world of unlimited free games. A $60 price point and DVD disc might soon be a thing of the past, but something about a physical object (and a decent amount of money spent) makes one more likely to make better choices.

I've often heard developers say, "You've just got to trust the intelligence of the audience -- if you make a great game they'll come." Sometimes, I wonder if they give us too much credit. But don't worry about me -- I'm going to get it together tomorrow and quit wasting my life away. I promise.

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Comments
  • I will never understand how some hardcore gamers can act like this. Smart phones are the scum of the earth.
  • lol, I'm reading this as I realize I have a lab report due this afternoon.
  • "I think even some of today's best games...could learn something from these emerging markets about starting a game fast."

    I couldn't agree more.  I hate when I get a new game and then have my first 2 hour play session dominated by boring tutorial information.  I would much rather spend 5 minutes reading instructions and then get thrown right into the good stuff.

  • Ah, the so-called trash media. It isn't always true that if you make something great they'll come. Sometimes that great thing gets buried under piles of trash that people at the time think to be more than trash.

    I try hard to stay away from games like the above because I realize that at the end of the day I've spent my time and walked away with nothing to show for it. When that happens I'm not deriving satisfaction from that, I'm simply taking an action for the sake of having taken an action.
  • I stopped playing and removed Tiny Tower from my phone as soon as they wanted me to create an account. I dont want/need an account for a game I may play for 5 minutes as I wait for a meeting or something to start. This also goes to any new game I DL to try..If I see a log in screen on launch I immediately remove it.
  • Yeah can't help but draw some parrallels myself..... Dont have an iphone/droid nor do I play those cheap games, but man do I have a hard time using my time wisely. I feel your pain Matt, I feel your pain....

  • There is a time and a place for quick easy games. But that time is not when you have better stuff to play (or do). What I'm saying is Matt has the attention span of my 6-year old-cousin. :)

  • Matt, I wish you had never written about Tiny Tower... seriously, it has consumed my life. Do not go anywhere near this game if you have any OCD tendencies, I finally upgraded my elevator to max, and I'm still playing. It's even interfering with my work, damn you Matt!

    *Hyperbole*
  • This is why I don't play these kinds of games. Not only are they usually lame but they suck you life away. I would rather be out with my wife or playing with my daughter then staring at my phone. At least console game afford some interaction with other people no matter how indirect.

  • Good stuff Matt - you're a funny dude

  • Staff

    Ha ha, we need to start a Tiny Tower support group in the office. It would have plenty of members.

  • Yup, yup... I spend too much time on mindless browser based games instead of playing console games. Hell... I could be playing a game right now instead of reading this. XD (J/K)

  • This is the reason I own a phone that merely makes calls and can take pictures. That being said, I'm super excited to buy Angry Birds on Xbox. Now THAT'S demented.

  • i play tiny tower for 5 minutes every morning after my phone's alarm goes off. 5 just enough time to cycle through and keep my stores from being totally empty all day. otherwise i'd be playing all day X(

  • I totally get what you're saying Matt. For some damn reason, I regularily find myself browsing the Google Play store looking for something of interest. Most of them aren't "games" so much as diversions but there are a few worthwhile games (such as Rayman Jungle Run and Riptide GP).

  • I feel you.

  • I'm too busy playing console games. Sorry.

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