Top 10 Pain In The #$% Final Fantasy Enemies

The worlds of Final Fantasy are packed with goblins, dragons, and all manner of classic mythological monsters. Most of these clichéd creatures are reasonably challenging but don’t pose an inordinate threat to your band of adventurers. However, there are some enemies that will pop up out of nowhere and strike down your party before you can say “Phoenix Down.” This is our blacklist of the nastiest creatures Square has ever ruined our day with.

10. Mind Flayer (aka Sorcerer) (FF I, IV, V, IX, XI, XII)

The original Final Fantasy is blisteringly difficult. Opportunities to save are sparse, so oftentimes you have to plunge headfirst into a new dungeon and hope for the best. Hope as you hard as want, but sometimes a particularly vicious enemy blindsides your party. Mindflayers (Sorcerer) are one such breed of foe and they like to travel in packs. You may scoff at first when it whacks you for 1 HP of damage, but you’ll shut up when one of those attacks instantly kills a party member. Making matters worse, they have no vulnerabilities and can render your melee fighters unable to flee.

9. Bomb (FF II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV)

These combustible pests infest almost every Final Fantasy game, and like Mindflayers they love to hunt in packs. Each attack causes the creature to swell to a greater size, dealing out hefty elemental damage as their self-destruct fuse shortens. If you don’t have a Black Mage handy who can dole out decent damage, you’re bound to have a Bomb explode causing heavy damage, and potentially murdering one of your party members.

8. Cactuar (FF VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV)

Many of the foes on this list appear out of the blue and wreck your entire crew, but at least they stick around and let you fight back. Cactuars, on the other hand, disarm you with their cartoonish looks, barrage you with their 1,000 needles attack, and run away. You’re lucky if any of your characters have more than 1,000 HP at the point you encounter Cactuars in most Final Fantasy games, making these green griefers a big threat. These hit and run nuisances would be a lot higher on the list if they weren’t so darn cute.

7. Skull Eater (FF V)

It’s always a good feeling when you find a manageable critter you can grind to strengthen your party with minimal effort. The less-than-lethal Nut Eaters are one such enemy, and you can score a great deal of AP while slaying them in the Jachol Caves. Leave it up to Square to punish your easy leveling by throwing in the occasional Skull Eater: a nasty critter that can KO party members with a single hit, and sports mockingly high evasion and defense to protect its single HP. The moral of the story? Don’t mess with woodland creatures.

6. Tonberry (FF V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII)

For a cave-dwelling creature wielding a butcher’s knife, wearing a hooded cloak, and packing some serious power, Tonberries are adorable. The first encounter with a Tonberry is unforgettable: The cuddly little green creature begins battle a curiously far distance away from your party, and spends each turn creeping steadily toward you. Fail to whittle down its massive HP surplus before it reaches you and the Tonberry will one-shot a party member. Tonberry becomes more powerful with every blow you deal to its fellow monsters, forcing you into a deadly race to finish off the deceptively dapper critter.

5. Midgar Zolom (FF VII)

Leaving Midgar for the first time in Final Fantasy VII is a moment that fills most gamers with a sense of wonder and excitement. A whole planet exists outside the Shinra-controlled slums for you to explore, populated with tons of new fiends to fight. Wander too far into the marshlands surrounding the Mythril Mines, however, and you’ll notice a serpentine shadow slipping through the mist. When you do spot the Midgar Zolom it’s usually too late – a battle ensues with a giant, overpowered snake which makes short work of your team. To add insult to injury, after all the grief the Zolom causes you Sephiroth impales the humongous beast on a spike, stealing your revenge.

4. Behemoth (FF II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII)

One of the oldest Final Fantasy beasts is also one of the meanest. Upon meeting this purple people eater in Final Fantasy IV many gamers cracked their knuckles and cast the devastating Meteor spell, only to be countered with the Behemoth’s Maelstorm. This harrowing counterattack clobbers each party member’s HP into single digits. The Behemoths of FF XIII’s Gran Pulse are the most recent reminders of this brutal legacy. Upon losing half of their health these nightmares rear back on their hind legs, produce an intimidating chainsaw weapon, regain all their health, and deal greater damage. Good luck.

3. Intangir (FF VI)

It’s always satisfying once you acquire an airship in a Final Fantasy game, allowing you to finally explore all those unreachable spots – unless one such spot is the island home to the deceptive Intangir. This enigmatic creature enters battle invisible and asleep, leaving it up to curious adventurers to perform the magical equivalent of poking a resting colossus. After casting Fire or another spell to test the waters, a gigantic, nasty beast appears and drops Meteor - a real kick in the pants. Even if you trudge through a drawn out battle with Intangir, time is not on your side – the *** flees if you take too long killing him. Oh yeah, and guess what happens if you do kill him? Meteor.

2. Warmech (FF I)

Near the end of the original Final Fantasy you must traverse a very long bridge. On that bridge you have a 1/64 chance of running into Warmech, the series’ first hidden, super powerful boss. The bipedal robot packs a serious punch and will quickly crush all but the hardiest of characters. His Nuclear attack simultaneously batters your entire crew, likely resulting in a thorough wipe. In certain iterations the mechanical monster recovers five percent of its health with every round, resulting in a trying battle meant to ruthlessly test Final Fantasy fans.

1. Malboro (FF II, IV, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV)

What could be worse than a sci-fi robo-boss, juggernaut snake, killer squirrels, and pesky cacti? How about a big ugly plant that infects pretty much every status ailment ever just by breathing? Malboros are universally loathed by Final Fantasy fans. If you overhear a friend groaning while playing a Final Fantasy, look at the screen and you’ll likely see them opposite a big green abomination with their poisoned characters blindly hacking themselves apart. Unless you’ve got everyone equipped with gear that negates the monster’s wicked halitosis, you’re better off running away. Thing is, it’s tough to run when your party is running around in circles and nobody can pull their head out of their rear long enough to produce a cleansing Esuna spell or Remedy. On behalf of all Final Fantasy fans, screw you, Malboro!

What Final Fantasy fiends gave you the most trouble? Did any make you so enraged that you power leveled with the sole intent of taking them out?