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We Hardly Knew You

Maximo (Maximo: Ghosts to Glory)
The heavily armored warrior, Maximo, discovers his kingdom has been taken over by some dude named Achille, not to mention his beloved Sophia is captured. Achille then kills Maximo, but with some help Maximo returns to the mortal world to reclaim what’s rightfully his. His adventure spun off into a sequel and almost went on for a third installment that sadly got canceled. We hardly knew you, Maximo. Your boxer shorts will be missed.

Faith Connors (Mirror’s Edge)
There is nothing cooler than a woman who can free run across rooftops at high speeds. With her pristine athleticism the street savvy bada** earned her living as a “runner,” which in urban circles means an entirely different thing, but I digress. Mirror’s Edge only lasted a few hours, so while we hardly knew you, Faith, we’d love for you to come back for a sequel. Please?


Soda-Drinking Monkey (Metal Gear Solid 4)
We hardly knew you, soda-drinking monkey, but if we can have a say in this, things are going to turn around for you, buddy. Konami, if you’re reading this, we demand that the soda-drinking monkey appear in all Metal Gear games going forward. In fact, we ask that soda-drinking monkey make cameos in all of your franchises. We’re thinking Castelvania, Dance Dance, the whole nine.

Kai (Heavenly Sword)
Heavenly Sword follows the story of the powerful, red-haired Nariko, who is followed by an unusual gal named Kai. Gaming forums suggest the mysterious girl covered in face paint who admits to eating cockroaches has a screw loose. Where would they get such an idea? And so what if she is a little crazy? She’s had a rough past! Give her a break, man! We hardly knew you, Kai. Gotta show some love for the crazy (and crazy powerful) chicks.

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