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PLATFORM: XBOX |
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| LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR |
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guess it isn’t broken. But Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows passes the threshold of “functional” by minimizing every bullet point on its feature list; dumbing each down to the barest sliver of an idea. The exception is the game’s one notable feat – online, cooperative multiplayer. This, I am delighted to say, works swimmingly and lets four friends wade through the rest of the game’s mediocrity in a pack, instead of as sad little islands. Other than that, there are levels with grand variety, multiple difficulty options, character upgrades, and selectable special moves. That sounds like a lot, right? Well, the half dozen stages sure do look different from each other, but each functions in exactly the same truncated and linear way. The game can easily be beaten on the normal difficulty level in under five hours, and adding more players seems to have no effect on the number of enemies or their AI. In addition, after beating it with one character, that fighter’s accumulated upgrades make the Impossible difficulty level essentially equal to a new character on Normal, and customizing a character is even less challenging. When a special chest is opened, everyone playing gets an upgrade point that makes your gear just plain better. There is no choice in what way, nor in how it looks – each character has a tree of increasingly hardcore equipment skins that players will rarely see, as the game never affords much of a vantage point on your own fighter. All available special moves will be purchased within three hours and, although I played through it twice, it doesn’t appear that more show up anytime. While the game is breezily enjoyable, like watching Die Hard for the eighth time, the pleasure it dumps in front of gamers is composed entirely of nostalgia and the company of good friends. I guess that Seven Sorrows doesn’t get in the way of you having a decent time, which if one were being kind, would be a second feat achieved…but just barely.
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This series is a byword for the brand of mindless co-op action that it started back in the arcades 20 years ago. But you don’t have to go back that far to see this game’s immediate influences. Seven Sorrows feels like a mediocre action title from five years ago – complete with a bad story, forgettable boss battles and enemies, little character development, and basic action gameplay. To its credit, this title doesn’t stand in the way of those who want to get together with some friends and spend a rainy afternoon with a brawler that requires a modicum of teamwork. If that doesn’t sound like much fun, remember that you’ve done stupider things with your friends, like that time you and your buds tried to see who could stuff the most mini marshmallows up their nose. |
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6.25 |
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| CONCEPT: |
| Try to revitalize the classic hack n’ slash franchise by doing the exactly what the old games did |
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| GRAPHICS: |
| Linear level design doesn’t really offer much for looks, although each of the short stages has a different style |
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| SOUND: |
| Classic, cheesy voiceover dude is a great touch, but the rest is generic fantasy |
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| PLAYABILITY: |
| You hack….you slash…you do little else |
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| ENTERTAINMENT: |
| Seven Sorrow’s greatest assets are your nostalgia and your friends |
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| Copyright
1991 -
2008
:: Game Informer Magazine
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